I have a really badly knackered knee.
I sometimes tell people that it got injured as a I rescued a little old lady from muggers. Other times I’ll say it was a motorbike accident sustained as I crashed on a Greek island (that actually happened but I was completely uninjured because luckily (for me) I came off my bike, flew 12 feet through the air and landed on someone.
In reality I injured my knee (quite seriously actually) watching Yoga on TV. Not doing Yoga you understand – just watching it.
I’d had a few beers and was relaxing after a long dinner and great conversation with my wife. She wandered into the kitchen to refill her wine and I flicked the TV on. I still don’t know what the TV was showing but they were featuring a 98 year old woman in a leotard who was a Yoga master. She was chatting away while sitting in the lotus position (for those who don’t know it’s a sort of cross-legged position but with your fee on TOP of the opposite leg)
Well machismo kicked in and I said to myself – ‘If she can do it at that age, then I can’
But I couldn’t. I used to be quite supple but not any more.
After 5 minutes of sweating and cursing I got hold of my left leg with both hands and pulled it onto my left knee. For half a second I actually acheived the Lotus position.
Then my knee emitted a noise like someone grinding a walnut between two bricks and a wave of pain hit me like a Tsunami.
As my wife (who’d heard me scream) pulled my legs back into their usual position while yelling at me for being a ‘silly bugger’ I vowed that I’d never again worry about what other people could do that I coudn’t.
Which is why I’m very happy with my Internet business. It’s doing pretty well both with Sara and with my own ventures.
So when the latest marketing guru tells me what I should be doing, I squeeze me knee until it hurts, re-learn the ‘Yoga Injury’ lesson and go do my own thing.
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