Beware of people who have REAL power

Never piss off your chef, dentist or hairdresser…

…it’s just ASKING for trouble.

A mate of mine was always embarrassing in restaurants.

We don’t eat out with them any more.

I’ve seen him insist on ‘viewing the kitchen’

I’ve seen him be rude to waiting staff – obnoxious actually.

And all I can think is – as you sit here feeling smug and superior the chef is currently wiping your fillet steak around his ballsack.

It’s really not worth it to try to show off.

 

Dentists?

I rest my case.

 

Hairdressers.

Same

 

There are some people you think have power, but they don’t.

If you upset a politician or member of the royal family here in the UK there’s actually not much they can do without looking like bullies and getting bad press.

But if you upset your hairdresser…well be prepared to spend 3 months wearing a hat

Beware of people with REAL power – they’re not who you might think…



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The internet marketing methods you’re using are out of date

The world has changed…

…since whatever internet marketing technique you are using was invented/became popular/was widely accepted…

…and today.

You’re using OLD marketing strategies.

Because by the time they’ve been refined, tested, put into practise and then TAUGHT by whatever guru you learned them from…

…they’re out of date.

Doesn’t mean they don’t work though.

It just means that someone out there is at this VERY MOMENT, inventing / adapting the next big marketing technique.

They’re not using old strategies, they’re inventing and testing their own.

Couldn’t we be doing that?



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Got a new (OLD) car this week

If you read this blog you may know I’m not a petrol head.

We have one posh car for travelling around the country, Europe etc and a ‘work-horse’ one which is usually a 4WD to chuck stuff in the back of and potter round the village.

On Monday the workhorse dropped dead. Phoned a bloke with a flatbed trailer who paid me £100 and took it away so the same afternoon I went out and bought an old but good condition 4WD. I don’t buy new cars in this role because I know how I treat ‘em :)

All seemed fine until last night took kids to cubs/guides and this horrendous clatter started coming from under the car. It went when I pressed the clutch and came back when driving normally.

Looked under the car, nothing hanging down and exhaust seemed fine.

Started her up to the same noise an hour ago. Prodded and poked around a bit under the bonnet and underneath the car. Noise went. Short test drive and noise is STILL gone.

My best guess is a stone trapped in the exhaust/brake discs…

EDIT: Found this after investigating…

tony shepherd

 

MAY have solved the problem. Found this loose-hanging bracket thing just hanging around the exhaust pipe towards the front of the car. Wiggling it seemed to recreate the horrible sound

And this is it after I’d removed it. I’ll test drive in a bit, but started the engine and the noise was gone. Thing is WHAT is it, and WHERE is it meant to be?

Tony Shepherd

EDIT 2: I posted this in my Private Group (VERY off topic section) and a some incredibly helpful members with much more mechanical knowledge than me told me it was probably an old exhaust clamp and could be safely removed, which is lucky because I’d already done that.

I’ll be honest I could go and buy a new one but it’s nowhere near as much fun and watching the depreciation when it’s got a boot full of garden waste would be grim too :)

Had a great morning doing the above LOL



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Masters of the upsell…

 

cheap insurance policies safe

 

I needed some car insurance the other day for an old 4×4 car I just bought

If you thought Vistaprint were masters of the upsell think again

They have NOTHING on insurance companies.

Years back they simply used to tell you whether things like legal cover, courtesy car, windscreen replacement, lost keys and a hundred other things were included in the cover.

Not any more

The policy I bought seemed really cheap. 

LOL

That’s because each of these upsells was presented to me individually in a process than lasted 15 minutes.

Each one was accompanied by a cartoon of what horrors could happen if I didn’t buy.

Some bloke staring down a drain having dropped his keys into the sewer. Another hapless chap standing in front of a judge handing over sackfuls of money because he didn’t buy legal insurance.

Luckily the cover I need is for an old ‘workhorse’ car that I’ve bought for chucking garden waste in the back and pottering round the village so I don’t want any extras.

But it was fascinating to watch :)



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Ouch

Had an hour or so in our local pub with my wife yesterday afternoon while the kids were at grandparents.

Sitting in the pub grounds enjoying the sunshine……before returning home to the danger and pain that is our kitchen door.

Every time I have more than three pints of Guinness or even when totally sober but not paying attention, I can end the day grumpy, with a sore head and once even unconscious

I’ll let the pictures explain

Here’s a pic of our kitchen doorway…

 

tony shephed

 

…and here’s our kitchen doorway with me standing in it

 

Tony shepherd

Now I’m quite a tall bloke at 6’4″ but its still a very small doorway because the house is quite old.

And after 8 years living here I still forget to duck

Ow f**k can be heard from time to time in our kitchen

My reason for posting?

The big duck egg now forming on the front of my head after coming in from the pub yesterday and going into the kitchen to make a cup of tea…

 



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Going over to the dark side…

Lytham St Annes fog

The dark side is Lancashire…

We left our sunny Yorkshire village at 10am to meet up with friends and do some walking along the beach around St Anne’s in Lancashire.

Creepy wasn’t the word.

A fog rolled in the likes of which Landis or Carpenter would have had an orgasm if they’d seen it.

I was telling my kids a (totally fabricated) ghost story about the beach while the mist swirled around us only to realise they weren’t remotely interested but I was looking around anxiously for dead pirates with billhooks and rotting eyeballs coming for me.

The muted, eerie sound of bells choked across the sand and I was horrified to see the ghostly figures of several animals through the mist.

Turned out to be the donkey rides.

So five quid poorer I watched the odd sight of my children being led away into the fog, seated on slow moving, clanging donkeys by an old lady.

She did bring em back though

I tried to take a photo of the sea with an old pier thing in the foreground but the image in this post is how it came out. I haven’t altered it in any way so the sepia tones are what we saw yesterday.

We had a great walk though although my old comfy walking boots sadly dropped to bits at the end, so now I have to break in a new pair after about six years.

Just waffling on…



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Why dreams alone won’t build your online business

You need dreams to build your online business

I always remember some wise person saying something about how our generation had been sold a dream by Hollywood but it’s incomplete…

He said (to paraphrase) when we’re driving ours car we feel like Vin Deisel. When we’re out with a girl we feel like Ryan Gosling and when we’re having a beer we feel like Mickey Rourke.

But who are we when we’re scraping dog crap off our kids wellies?

Or juggling credit card payments so we can pay the rent?

And that’s the problems with dreams. They’re wonderful, necessary, life-changing things…

…but in order to recognise the dream you need to balance them against reality.

When I sell my training products or work with people to teach them how to set up an e-business I try NOT to sell the dream. I try to sell the reality but also teach them to start dreaming from day one, because they have to know what they WANT before they can aim for it

I knew EXACTLY what I was working towards when I started building my own e-business. My first child was on the way and I wanted to be around when she (and the next one) grew up. I also wanted to earn enough money from my online business so my wife could give up teaching and stay at home too.

I wanted a bigger house than the lovely but tiny two-bedroom cottage we lived in, and I wanted to work doing something I loved but only work a few hours a week so I could have enough time to do other things that I wanted to do – simple things like travel, gardening, reading, ‘trying out’ other businesses and helping others to build their businesses.

It worked and I’ve now achieved every single one of the things above

Not because of dreaming…

…but because of comparing the dream to my reality.

By doing this I could see what I needed to change, and imagine – almost TASTE the lifestyle I wanted – but at the same time recognise the work that I would have to put in to achieve my dream

I think we all need dreams – I think they’re essential to our lives. But don’t hate your reality, even though yours might be in a grim position at the moment.

Instead use it as fuel, as motivation to build your dream.

That’s the secret to success and to keeping your motivation going. When you’re walking a long distance, it’s impossible to see how far you’ve progressed until you turn round and look at where you’ve come FROM.

Then you’ll really see how far you’ve travelled.

Wow, how deep is that eh?

Must be the Easter egg I’m munching for breakfast :)

Dunno how many times I dreamed of having Easter eggs for brekky when I was an 8 year old boy but my parents (quite rightly) wouldn’t let me.

Don’t think I’ll be doing it again though…feel a bit pukey…

But you have to know the reality to realise if a dream is for you, right? :)

If you want to know the techniques I used to turn my own business around CLICK HERE



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Putting multiple affiliate links into one email?

multiple affiliate links in one email

Traditional thinking (aka ‘repeating the myth without testing’)  suggests that you should only ever put ONE link or call to action in your emails to your list, on your squeeze pages (they either opt-in or leave) or on your sales pages.

This might have been true some years back – Hell I even mentioned it once or twice in my own reports, and while putting just one link still works and works well…

…I’ve been getting some pretty good results from ’round up’ emails to my list where I recap the offers I’ve mentioned over the past week or so. Obviously these emails include multiple links to products, which supposedly lead to the reader being confused and not buying anything

This is rubbish for two reasons:

1. People aren’t stupid

2. People aren’t stupid

Anyone who has been around internet marketing for any length of time knows the score. They KNOW they’re being marketed to (just like you do when we watch ads on the telly), so why not give them a choice of the recommendations you’ve made over the past seven days and see if anything takes their fancy?

I’m not an innocent by the way, I KNOW the power of forced opt-ins. multiple upsells and downsells and membership programs that are near-impossible to escape from.

It’s just that I choose not to go down that route.

I’ve never been a churn and burn merchant, forcing, cajoling and manipulating my subscribers into buying more from me. I’d probably make more money if I was.

But it’s not me. I’d rather let my subscribers choose what/if they want to buy from me and take it from there.

Sometimes the karma doesn’t work out though – I remember a few years back after a site of mine had flopped having a beer with a marketing mate who had just made $400,000 in about a week from churn and burn and an in your face launch.

Did I seriously investigate the ‘dark side’?

Course I bloody did – I’m not stupid :)

But let’s just say the downside involved more nasties than I fancied.

But anyway – long drawn out post just to say if you’re an email marketer try sending a ’round-up’ email to your list every now and again. Track your results against your usual emails and see what you think.



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No frog Rumpy-Pumpy yet

why is there no frogspawn in my pond

I may need to leave a Barry White CD and a bottle of fizz next to our tiny pond this evening…

Because the frogs just ain’t getting jiggy.

For the first time EVER we don’t have frogspawn yet, and it’s overdue.

I know there are frogs in there because I’ve seen ‘em but they don’t seem to fancy each other (maybe I should leave six cans of lager because that usually works for blokes on a night out) or they’re all the same sex.

There’s frogspawn in the pond up at school, we know a couple of people who even have it in jars, AND the pond on the moor which is about ten minutes walk away is apparently full of frogs getting ready to orgy…

…but none yet in our pond.

Some clever sod suggested that if I was so concerned I should get in there and have a go myself but so far that’s a last resort, as is ‘kidnapping’ frogspawn which, if not yet illegal probably soon will be under another Tory government.

It does have it’s advantages NOT having frogs all over the garden (if you’ve ever accidentally ‘mowed’ a frog you’ll know it’s not pleasant)…

…but I’m being entirely practical about this

The pond is next to our main veggie patch and frogs eat slugs.

If we can’t get the frogs in the mood, it probably means that at some point down the line the broad beans will get eaten by the slugs NOT me for my tea because there isn’t enough of a frog population to keep them down.

So I’m checking every morning like some freaky amphibian dad.

Maybe I should get some ‘mood lighting’ installed by way of one of those rocks that has a solar light in it

…or maybe I should stop being a d*ck and get on with some work :)



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Solar Eclipse March 2015


eclipsemarch2015

So I’m standing in the garden trying not to look at the sun, thinking that if I aim my iPhone at it I’ll be able to see the eclipse without burning a hole through my retinas and melting the back of my head

Turns out I was quite safe because it just went a little dull and then the clouds arrived.

School were making a big deal of this (quite rightly) to the kids and ‘pinhole camera’ was the most searched term in the last 24 hours (I made that up)

So I’m going to have to explain to my kids when they get home why it wasn’t a Hollywood-style event

Real life rarely is

And that’s because we’re EXPECTING them.

We knew this solar eclipse was on the way and the media ‘bigs it up’ for weeks before so when it actually happens it’s disappointing to many people. No orchestral music, no Nicolas Cage overacting and no thunderbolts.

Personally I’d like to do it ‘old skool’ like they did in medieval times.

You’d be toiling in the fields and the sky would go dark for no reason.

You’d shit yourself because you’d think it was the end of the world, sacrifice the village idiot and all pile into the local church to wait for the apocalypse.

Three weeks later when you weren’t all dead (except the idiot) you’ presume the sacrifice worked, would make sure that you regularly attended church and your heart would just about have gone back to it’s normal rate.

In short you’d have had your money’s worth!

You’d had the ‘real eclipse experience’ because it involved terror, the belief that you were going to die and weren’t prepared for it by the Daily bloody Mirror.

And in my opinion that’s where Disney gets it wrong.

More terror less characters.

They’ll suss it out eventually you mark my words



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